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Does the use of sex toys ruin relationships?

A recent study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that women who use vibrators are at an increased risk of infidelity. The number of women who used sex toys and the number of women who had affairs was similar, but why?


My girlfriend uses a sex toy after we are done.

If you’re worried about your girlfriend using a vibrator, you may be tempted to ask her flat out if she is cheating. But this could make her defensive and not answer the question honestly. If you want to know the truth, there are other ways to find out what’s going on.

Ask yourself why you’re so suspicious. Is it because of past experiences? Did your last girlfriend cheat on you and then try to hide it? Or are there signs that she might be doing something wrong?

Be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly if you’re feeling insecure about your relationship or marriage. If she knows that you are insecure, she may want to keep things from you or lie about what is going on to protect herself from getting hurt by another argument or fight.

Try talking with your partner about how important honesty is in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex toys or anything else that could be considered cheating (or even just putting yourself at risk for STDs). Ask her how much time she spends alone when she goes into “her room” (if this is where she keeps her toys).

Should I buy my wife a dildo that’s the same size as me or bigger?

I want to surprise her with her first sex toy since we’ve been more adventurous with our sex life. I need a women’s perspective.

Welp, from my perspective I would start with the one size smaller than yours, let her get used to the idea of using one, and let her signal when it’s time for a bigger play. It made me feel oddly guilty and self-conscious when getting one of my first oversizes, therefore was inhibited and so my husband & I learned to grow and in growing we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary. So yep, my advice is the smaller size so she won’t feel guilty for liking it, and you won’t feel ego hurt, let you both ease into the freak and then grow together.

I just found my wife’s sex toy that I knew NOTHING about.

Well, my answer is a little different because my wife and I also have a Master/slave relationship. Part of our relationship is that I control when she is allowed to have orgasms.

But aside from that, I would have no problem with her using sex toys when I am not around. I sometimes tell her she is allowed to masturbate when I am going to be for a while.

You see, I do not feel threatened by a sex toy. I know that a sex toy cannot replace me.

I do feel some pity for men that are so insecure that they can feel threatened by a piece of fucking plastic. That is a sad way to go through life.

Are you okay with your wife using sex toys when you are not around?

Let’s get down to the real question. Are you okay with your wife using sex toys when you are not around?

If the answer is yes, then why should it matter? You are confident enough in your sexual ability and prowess to be able to satisfy her without the use of some contraption.

What if she uses a vibrator while you are at work or out with friends? Is that cheating? If she uses it while you’re home, is that cheating? What if she uses a dildo while you are having sex? How is that different than using a vibrator or dildo while you’re not around?

I am sure some people will have strong opinions on this issue just like many people were upset when I wrote about how much money couples should spend on their wedding. To those people, I say: Go buy another sex toy!

What sex fantasies do the wives have when their husband uses a dildo on them?

As a sex therapist, I’ve noticed that many couples have the same concerns about using sex toys. They worry that if they introduce a toy into their relationship, it will somehow ruin things. These fears are understandable, but as with any new experience in life, there are good reasons to try something new and bad reasons not to.

The Good Reasons

Sex toys can be fun and exciting for couples who want to spice up their love lives. They’re also great for people who want to learn more about their bodies and how they respond to different kinds of stimulation. And finally, some people just find them fun — like a pair of shoes or a new gadget!

The Bad Reasons

Some people worry that if they use a toy in bed with their partner, it might make it seem as if they don’t need him or her anymore — or worse, that he or she doesn’t measure up. But this isn’t true at all: Toys can be used by two people together or alone; they are not replacements for human sexual contact. And no matter what your relationship status is (single, married, or somewhere in between), it’s important to remember that the best sex comes from being connected with another person on an emotional level

Do I tell my husband before I buy a sex toy or after, or should I hide it from him?

It’s all about communication. If you’re not comfortable with your current sex life, a sex toy could be a great way to spice things up. But if you’re not open with each other, it could make things worse.

It’s better to talk about your needs and desires before you shop for toys. You may find that you’re both on the same page and just need something new to try out together. Or, maybe one of you wants something specific that the other isn’t interested in. Either way, talking about it beforehand will help reduce the shame or stigma that can come from buying toys in general — or any other product associated with sex.

Final words

It seems that pornography use and relationship quality are closely tied. Those who use pornography often feel dissatisfied with their main relationship, both sexually and emotionally. As such, it can be tempting to say that the problem is pornography use, rather than the underlying issue. Is a person using porn and having an unhappy primary relationship someone suffering from addiction, or someone suffering from unmet emotional needs? It’s hard to say.

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